I think fate doesn't want me to be on time for church.
Week 1: I hit every red light between my house and church and am a few minutes late.
Week 2: I leave a few minutes early to take into account red lights. Unfortunately, I then get stuck behind a freight train so slow that I lose count of the cars because it takes too long to count to one.
Week 3: I leave for church even earlier but my plan fails early on as someone has parked a u-haul van behind my car. I use up all my extra time knocking on doors in my complex until I find the owner.
Week 4: They're doing construction on the road to the institute and no one can make a left turn for several miles. It's also impossible to make a right turn so I almost end up at the zoo before I'm able to turn around.
Week 5: When I moved here, I was excited that I could cut 20 miles off my commute to church, but now I leave earlier than I did before. Today, I thought I was going to be on time. And I would have been, but someone decided to organize an immigration rally in the middle of the city. After fifteen minutes of sitting behind a very boring parade and a lot more detouring through the city, I make it to church just ahead of the ward chorister but still late.
Week 6: I give up on being on time to church and leave later than ever, yet some how I'm two minutes early.