Tuesday, June 14, 2011

If You're too Drunk to Read this Sign

Going to the local demolition derby this last weekend reminded me of a problem I had. You see I used to have a sign on my back that said, "If you're too drunk to read this sign, hit on me." Something about me just turned drunk men on (or really white trash guys).

I first noticed this phenomenon in high school at a rodeo. We were sitting in front of man so drunk that his friends had bets on when he was going to pass out. He managed to slur, "Some of these girls in front of us have nice butts, especially the brown haired one. (I was with all blondes and redheads.)

Or there was the time, I explained this problem to my coworkers and they didn't believe me. I promptly went to the bank and was propositioned in the ATM line by a choice redneck with a mullet driving an old clunker. He had to lean out of his car window to yell across the lines, "Where you going after this?"

In case you think this is something I bring on myself by the way I dress or act, this effect continued while on my church mission. West Texas is ripe with drunk guys so I shouldn't have been surprised.

But after not getting hit on at the demolition derby, I thought that maybe I had finally removed the sign until last night. I stopped at the grocery store on my way home from the temple wearing a conservative dress and heels (it was the temple after all). At the store a sixty-some guy with short jean shorts and one tooth chased me down to say, "Girl, you're a throwback to the old girls, and that's a compliment."

Oh yeah, I still got it.

1 comment:

  1. this is fun.......a very good posting. and so true!!