Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Things that Ought to be Banned

I've read several articles circulating lately about book banning. Rather than focusing so much attention on banning books, I thing we should ban the things that are truly wrong. Here is a start:

1) Flesh colored speedos.

2) Severely overweight or pregnant women wearing string bikinis. This goes along with number one. No one should have to guess if someone is wearing a swimsuit. There's beaches for that.

3) Crying babies in movies. I'm told this is banned, but yet I keep encountering it. By the way, taking your baby to the hall behind the stadium seats doesn't help. Just because we can't see you, doesn't mean we can't hear you.

4) Texting during church. We can hear you clicking. If your message is that important, just go into the hall.

5) Adult temper tantrums. There needs to be an age limit on these.

6) Phonebooks. I know this sounds a little odd, but I get a new one every month and I'm fairly sure the phonebook people killed a rainforest last year.

7) People driving below the speed limit in the fast lane.

8) Subwoofer in an apartment complex. While your movie may sound awesome, my walls are shaking.

What's missing? What would you ban upon being named king (or queen) of all?

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