Wednesday, May 25, 2011

10 Life Lessons Learned

As a child, I once cried to my mom that I always seemed to learn things the hard way. In her sympathetic way, she told me, "Some people learn from there own mistakes but wise people learn from others." In honor of that I've created a list of lessons I've learned the hard way.

  1. Never use your hand (or pretty much any part of your body) to check the heat of something.
  2. Look up when you're walking down the street. It saves face (because the face bleeds easily).
  3. When it takes a while for the water to shoot out a hose, don't check it with your ear to see if it you can hear it coming.
  4. Always check your cinch before get in the saddle.
  5. When you talk to yourself, always assume someone can hear you (this also applies to singing in the shower).
  6. Always check your rear end when you leave the bathroom while wearing a skirt just to make sure everything is tucked in right.
  7. Never curl your hair on a rainy day, it just makes you angry.
  8. Never eat shrimp from an unknown source at a potluck, especially if everyone had to drive an hour to get there. (I learned this one just yesterday.)
  9. Never swing a chocolate-covered baby.
I'm leaving number ten blank. I'm sure something new will come up this week. What things have you learned the hard way? I still haven't given up on the idea of learning from other's mistakes as well.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Benefits of Beer

So my roommate and I were having a slug problem and, no, I'm talking about the local single guys. We had an actual slug problem in our flower beds. Despite numerous attempts to poison them (again the slugs not the guys), they multiplied.

I told my roommate that I had heard beer was great for getting rid of slugs. It took a few months to convince her, but eventually she agreed to give it a go. There was only one problem; she waited until we were at a gas station in my hometown to decide it was the opportune time to buy beer. The gas station my family frequents; the gas station we've used as gathering spot for road trips.

She tried to play it cool but her red face gave us away (that and when she asked the guy for a brown paper sack she told him it was for slugs). We killed about fifty of those suckers in one night.

It took a few more years of convincing, but today my mom bought beer for her slugs. If only they didn't have to do a price check at the grocery store.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Dating Bucket List

So after watching the horribly corny and cliche-laden Kate and Will Lifetime movie, I realized that my dating life lacks memorable moments. So I've made a dating bucket list of all things I need to experience before I get married.

  • Meeting a guy and totally giving him the brush off but eventually becoming friends. Then one day he discovers how beautiful you are and you realize how sweet he is. It's the meet-cute.
  • A first kiss in the rain and/or a first kiss at night with soft twinkling lights. The movie utilized both.
  • Being sung karaoke to by a guy trying to win you or your forgiveness.
  • Saying I love you in front of a fire.
  • Breaking up in a car and then dramatically stomping away.
  • Being won back by a guy willing to embarrass himself, yet again in a dramatic way.
Which ones am I missing?