Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Everything Happens at Once

Why does everything happen at once? This blog post is mostly a list of reason as to why I can't blog.

Along with a full time job, I've been freelancing at night and I'm this close to wrapping a project up, but my client keeps finding gnats (not even gnats, just baby gnats).

I start four days of training tomorrow for ski instructing. Yes, I am going to be a ski instructor unless I die on the mountain.

I just got my first round corrections from my editor for my book. Did I mention I'm publishing a book?

That's it for now.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

I Stole a Truck

Wednesday morning, 5:30 am. I've got swim class and some idiot has parked his truck behind me and two others in my apartment complex. I check all the windows in the complex to see if any lights are on, but there aren't any. I'm not quite gung ho about banging on people's doors at this hour.

I pull the handle of the old white truck and to my surprise, the door pulls open. When I check the ignition, there are no keys. This dashes my one-second hope of moving the truck to some faraway spot in the complex and letting the owner figure it out.

After five minutes of pacing through the complex, a neighbor walks out who jumps at the sight of me. "You scared me," he says. I apologize since it's still quite early and I'm dressed all in black. I explain the problem and ask if he would mind helping me push the truck out of the way.

I jump into the cab, push in the klutch, and shift it into neutral. He pushes me back a few feet. I leave a note in the guy's cab, and I'm off to swim class.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Spectacular Failures

John Lasseter, director of Toy Story and Pixar executive, was fired from Disney when he created their first computer animated movie. They didn't see the point. Disney was his dream job, where he worked up the ladder from the Jungle ride tour guide to animator.

Steve jobs was fired from the company he created, Apple. He purchased a company that no one had a use for, which became known as Pixar.

I've never failed so spectacularly but then again, I've never succeeded so spectacularly either. There are a few things I've failed at.

My first time off the ski lift, I fell and took out the instructor and another student.

I've yet to publish a book.

I've bombed more dates than I can keep track of.

I drove home from my first post-college interview in tears. They said I needed more internships but I just got turned down from an internship because I didn't have enough experience.

What things have you failed out?

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Chewing Gum while Walking

In honor of practicing things I'm terrible at until I advance to mediocrity, I take swim classes twice a month.

Each week the coach finds something else that I need to work on. This week I needed to focus on my arms during the backstroke. So I focused completely on my arms to the extent my legs dragged behind me slowing me down. I wasn't aware of this.

The coach stopped me, not to tell me I was doing better, which was what I was hoping for. However, he told me I needed to kick more. I explained that I was focused on my arms and, in the words of my brother, I'm the kind of person who can't chew gum while walking.

I now realize why I stink at swimming and most sports.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Such a Good Mother

I was paid a high compliment last weekend. Apparently, I'm a good mother. This came as a surprise since I don't actually have kids.

I babysat my nephews and niece on Thursday and had to take the boys to football. My niece is three and her patience with watching the game lasted about as long you'd expect. I played tag with her while trying to keep an eye on the game. After only a few minutes, another little girl joined us and I ran around with them for a while.

During the last quarter, I stood on the sidelines when the mother of the other little girl asked me which of the players were mine. I told her I was only their aunt. "But she's yours," she said gesturing to my niece.

"Nope, she's my niece," I replied.

"Oh, I was going to say you're such a good mom." She couldn't hide the relief in her voice that I was only the aunt. I assured her that I spent all week saving up my energy so I have enough for one day of watching them.