Monday, October 15, 2012

Changes are a' Coming

I've had lots of fun with this blog. So much so that I've decided it's time to have some fun with the design. I am currently redesigning the blog and changing the url. The new blog is Keep checking in for updates. 

Once the blog officially launches, there will be prizes and a whole new feature celebrating outdoor moms.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Goblin Valley: Utah's Best Playground

As we descended the short trail into Gobin Valley, my brother told his wife that between them and me, they had almost one adult per child. (They have four kids.) He rescinded his statement a few minutes later as my feet hit the valley floor. I took off in a run, neck and neck with my nephews, running up, through, and over the rocks.

Goblin Valley State Park is mother nature's most awesome playground. As a kid, it ranked higher than Disneyland for me. Three valleys filled with odd-shaped rocks and sand, and you're allowed to crawl all over it. You will never find a more fitting place for Kick the Can or Hide and Seek. 

The temperatures reach the triple digits in the summer, which makes the spring and fall optimal times to visit. The park has a nice campground with showers, but make a reservation because it fills up quick. There are several dirt roads around with pullouts for camping without services. In the mountains surrounding the area are several slot canyons and hiking trails. The turn off is on the way to the Bullfrog Marina of Lake Powell. 

Click here for more information. 

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Paddle Boarding in Utah

Yes, you can paddle board in land-locked Utah. And, yes, stand-up paddle boarding (SUP) is awesome.

Having taken my first surf lesson last fall, I've been dying to do it again. However, living in Utah means finding a substitute. I went to Jordanelle Reservoir to help satisfy my craving. While you can rent paddle boards to use on any water, Jordanelle is the only lake I found that rents them lakeside. (I was little nervous about hauling an 11-foot board on top of my car down the freeway.)

I debated taking a lesson, which is $40 for one hour, but after talking with a few people I was hopeful I could skip that part. If you're new to paddling and not a strong swimmer, I recommend taking a lesson. While it is a fairly easy thing to pick up, you don't want get out on the water and panic.

I learned that, like with most sports, the best thing was to just do it. Stand up and paddle and you will be surprised how easily it comes. The first time a boat sent a wave my direction, I wanted to shake my fists at them. The second time, I yelled out a woohoo.

Here's a few things I learned my first time:

  1. If you're short, take a tall person or bucket to get the board on and off your car. (We did have to haul the boards a few minutes to get to the boat ramp from the shop.)
  2. The best way to get over being wobbly is to simply stand up and start rowing. 
  3. If you're afraid you're going to fall, then fall. I was nervous about falling (although I'm not sure why since I was two inches above the water) so I fake fell of the board and got it out of my system.
  4. When you fall, maneuver around so the current is at your back before you pull yourself on. It's easier to get on than you think it is.
  5. Keep your feet planted just wider than hip-width. Check for the handle of the board and keep it between your feet (this should keep you centered front to back).
  6. When you want to turn, paddle on one side. If you're not turning fast enough, stick an oar on the side you want to turn to and either hold it still or paddle a little backwards.
  7. If you stop to take pictures, enjoy the view, or flirt with the guy on the board next to you (it could happen), keep an eye on where you are. These boards drift quickly in the current and you don't want to get ran over by a wakeboarder (he will win every time).
  8. And most importantly, invite me along if your only reason for not going is that you don't have a buddy. Or, invite me along because I'm an awesome person. Either way.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Redneck Sports: Canal Waterskiing

For this month's edition of Redneck Sports, we headed to the canal. The long, hot nights of July force people into some inventive situations. You have to take stock of what you have and see what you can do with it. We had:

A four-wheeler
Water skis
A rope
Two very willing boys

Add in a canal and you can kill some time. Nobody went more than 10 or 15 feet. But at least the driver didn't drive into the canal (that would've gone viral). 


For those of you trying this at home, the canal was only waist deep and very slow moving, and we had about four or five adults all lined up and down the canal.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Flash Floods in Lake Powell

This waterfall formed after maybe ten minutes of rain. We were boating up Forgotten Canyon in Lake Powell when the blinding downpour drove us into a small cove. Waterfalls streamed down the rock walls on all sides as we tried to secure the rain cap over the boat.

I was too focused on snapping the cover down to see anything beyond the walls spinning in front of me as the boat tossed in the current. Spouts of water appeared from the high edges above us (sometimes out of the wall itself). I barely heard the crack of thunder but I sure heard the yells of my family, "Move the boat, move the boat." My dad gunned it just as the waterfall exploded, spraying water and mud across our hull. (The houseboat isn't us).

Once the cover was secure we could sit back and watch the awesome power of Mother Nature as she cleansed herself. While the adults were feeling a bit nervous about the situation, my four nephews and niece were just perplexed about why they couldn't swim. The five-year-old asked, "If the boat sinks, what do I do with my hat?"

The day before, the storms hit a bit more gently and we swam through the waterfalls of Clear Creek Canyon. I told my nephews that they will probably never see anything quite like that again. I took the video below in Clear Creek Canyon.


Monday, July 2, 2012

Cowboy Breakfast over the Fire

After a long day of hiking or boating, I love eating scrumptious meals cooked over a fire. My favorite, and oh so easy breakfast, is below. I use frozen steak fries, which makes prep and cooking time much shorter. Don't worry if the fries have defrosted in the cooler by the time you go to cook them. I've opened them up to find them floating in water and it still tasted delicious.

Cowboy Breakfast

1 pound Italian Sausage
1 bag frozen steak fries
Garlic powder, to taste
Cajun seasoning, to taste
Black pepper, to taste
6 Eggs
Anything else in your cooler that sounds good

In a large frying pan, crumble sausage and begin frying over fire or campstove. Once meat has started to brown add in french fries and break apart with a spatula. Mix seasonings in.

Once meat has browned through, crack eggs over top and scramble in. Cook until eggs are cooked through. Move to a lower heat and sprinkle cheese over top. Once cheese has melted, serve warm.

This blog is part of a thread. To find more great campfire recipe blogs go here.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Why Women Struggle at Learning a New Sport

The only instruction I received for driving a snowmobile was that it runs like a four-wheeler. I crashed it into a creek the first day. I was also yelled at for not watching the overheating gauge (that I didn't know existed) and overheating the machine. The group spent the day waiting for me to catch up since I didn't dare go fast. 

I now hate snowmobiling. And I understand a big reason why women don't try new sports or dislike it when they do. 

I've seen them on the ski slope, the golf course, biking with boyfriends, brothers, and husbands all being told the thing they're doing is easy and they should just get it. I hear them apologizing for holding everyone else up. Women HATE to cause other people difficulty.

So how do we get passed this initial awkwardness and actually enjoy the sport we're trying to learn?

  1. Ditch the person with you who's the so-called expert at teaching. Being good at a sport doesn't mean you're good at teaching it. If it's something you really want to do, pay for a lesson or find someone at your own skill level to do it with until you feel more comfortable.
  2. Do not feel guilty for holding the group back. I've been with people who were very patient with me and I still hated making them wait. It's okay, everyone has had to learn at some time.
  3. Don't give up. We as adults forget that rarely are we naturally good at something. Just because it's difficult at first doesn't mean it is worthless.
I recently went golfing with a friend who can't golf that well either and we had a blast. No holding anyone up, no feeling guilty, and without the pressure, I actually golfed better.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Lesson Learned from Dad

One of the most important lessons my dad taught me was that it's okay to get in trouble now and then. And for a girl who started life as the one who reminded the teacher we had a quiz, this was a much-needed lesson.

Dad taught us this by being our getaway driver for ding dong ditching, for giving us the idea to create a wall of sagebrush blocking the local roads, and getting thrown off the go-karts at the Fiesta Family Fun Park.

We were in St. George for a high school rodeo and at night several families went to the go-kart track. My dad and a couple of other dads hit the slick track wearing their wranglers and cowboy hats. After their allotted two minutes the operator flashed the red light for them to stop. The first dad, Randy, stopped. My dad, deciding he hadn't had enough, sped past him. The other dad, Jerry, figured he wasn't done yet either and sped past as well.

Randy decided he wasn't going to be the only fool stopped at the line so he gunned the gas and chased after them. I'm not sure how much longer they went around with the guy yelling at them to stop. The evening culminated in my dad calling the operator Bubba and telling him to relax and Bubba banning all three of them from the slick track.

I learned his lesson well and I got kicked off the go-kart track after smashing a few people into the wall. Some dads are the voice of reason, mine is the voice of crazy.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Stealing My Catalytic Converter

While attending a church function Sunday night, someone crawled under my car, took out a saw, sliced my exhaust pipe in two places, and stole my catalytic converter.

I was inside, oblivious to this, and only noticed it when I turned the key in my ignition to have the engine roar up and scare the bejeebers out of me. I assumed that something had blown off in the muffler and crawled under, dress and all, to take a look at it. All I could see was a two-foot gap in my exhaust pipe and metal shavings on the ground. Though the evidence was strong, I hesitated to call the police, feeling a little silly.

After a few minutes and confirmation from someone else that I wasn't crazy, I called the police. An officer came out and confirmed, saying while stealing this part isn't uncommon, the fact someone stole it in broad daylight in a crowded parking lot was unusually brazen. He was very glad I called it in.

After some investigation, I learned that these converters filter the exhaust from the engine and contain some precious metals that make it worthwhile to sell as scrap. The most popular models hit are Nissan and Toyota SUVs from the '90s due to the ease of access (meaning I drive I big target and with my lift kit, I might as well of gift wrapped it for them). While we were waiting for the police to come, a white 4-Runner left the parking lot and after hearing her engine, I figured she'd been hit too.

The muffler people said that thieves like to strike anywhere there's a lot of cars parked. A few years ago, they struck the local high school a few times during classes and a couple of car dealerships.

To be safe, park in well lit and frequented areas, don't leave your car for prolonged periods of time, and, if possible, weld your converter to your frame.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Camping with Muppets

"Do you want us to take a picture of you little muppets?" I'm not sure if that was her exact phrasing but it did strike me as funny that I was just called a muppet. Me, a thirty-year-old woman, was just called a muppet. My camping buddy, also a woman and also my age, and I often acquire strange looks and comments from people out in the outdoors. 

I was always thought it was because we were two girls camping alone until this woman's comment. It isn't our sex, it's our size. I'm 5'3" and my buddy just a little shorter. We also don't look our age. People I meet always ask me what I'm studying. When I say I'm done with school, they reply, but what about college?

I may have the smallest bike at the triathlons (my tires don't hit the ground when it hangs on the rack), my best friend is a step ladder, and I almost hug my steering wheel to be able to touch my pedals. But on the positive side my skis are so short, it's easier to flip backwards when teaching; my bike fits in my car without a rack, and I fit into cracks in the rocks others can't. When I'm told I'm short, I say I'm just the right size for me.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Eat My Grandma's Dust

While visiting my grandma this Mother's Day, I asked her if she'd ever been to Canyonlands. (I'm camping there soon.) She said her and my grandpa used to go down there four-wheeling when it was still allowed.

People used to try to block them on the main road by driving down the middle. She'd wait until there was gap and speed past dusting them.

The picture was taking a few years ago when at eighty, she still went for a several hour family ride.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Biking from Farmington to Bluffdale (and how to avoid hitting a dog)

Good news! The Legacy running/biking trail is connected to the Jordan River Parkway trail. No more hitting dirt or construction signs. Thirty miles of not having to worry about getting hit by a car is well worth driving to. 

If you're starting on the Legacy side be sure to go to the bathroom before biking as there are very few places to have a pit stop (although it does make you go faster). If you're on the Salt Lake side, you will have to cross the occasional road but there will be crossing lights.

Do watch out for the occasional moron with a dog on a leash who feels the need to take up both lanes. And when you call out "on your right" they jump — not off the trail — but across the trail dragging their dog and leash in front of you. Next time I'm not crashing my bike to avoid your dog since that leaves road rash — I'm just taking you out.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

A Massacre of Bugs at Antelope Island

I am on a quest to visit all the state parks in Utah. Antelope Island proved to be a fun surprise. No, it didn't smell; yes, it was full of bugs. It's also a great day trip that makes you feel a little like you're at the ocean.

Antelope Island is easy to access by taking the Antelope Drive exit in Layton and heading west until you run out of road. There's a marina, a campsite, a historic ranch, a visitor's center with restaurant, and lots of buffalo (maybe even a few antelope but I didn't see any).

We parked the car at the marina and biked to the ranch. The roads are a bit rough but traffic is scarce. The bugs weren't bad on the actual island and the sunset over the water was beautiful. We were able to get up close to buffalo without the tourist lines of Yellowstone.

After my successful jaunt to the ranch, I decided to bike across the causeway. I killed so many bugs with my chest that I had their blood smeared across my shirt. Mouth closed and head down was they way to go.

It wasn't until we drove back across the causeway that I massacred an entire species of mosquitos. I had to stop at the gas station on the other side to squeegee — not just my windshield — but my headlights. The light couldn't shine through.

This was June and apparently the best time to visit Antelope Island is April through early May — before the heat and the bugs set in and while everything is green. Fall is also a nice time to visit. 

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Volcanic Craters and Golf Courses

In my goal to share the lesser known but totally awesome spots in Utah, this week I visited the Homestead Resort in Midway.

It was the Deer Valley Employee Golf Tournament at the resort (it doesn't matter who won). And can I just say, I want money. My clubs were carried to my cart; I had a cart. There was snack lady circling the course and a computer in said cart, which advised me on how to take my shot. 

In addition to a spa and golf course, Homestead is home to the country's only volcanic crater/scuba diving spring. In the parking lot is the huge rock dome about forty-feet high (I'm guessing) with a hole through the top. Inside this crater bubbles up water from underground springs that through volcanic rock have reached a temperature of mid-nineties year round. The pool has a depth of sixty-three feet.

Homestead offers scuba diving equipment and lessons. For the less adventuresome, you can soak in the mineral-laden water. For the tired but happy golfers, you can simply walk inside and look around. Prices are posted on their website (looking around is free).

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Falling Off the Baptist Preacher's Porch

I saw a book called 101 Mission Stories You Won't Read in the Ensign, and I have to say, I wish that was the book I wrote. But since I didn't and in honor of the book I did write, Sisters, I am adding story 102.

The day started off poorly as I had to visit the emergency room after walking into pole (that's a story for another post). My companion and I stood on the porch with her knocking and me just behind her. Focused as we were on the door, we didn't hear anyone come around the side.

"Can I help you?" I spun around only to have my left foot step into air and the rest of my body follow. I pulled myself upright from the dirt, and said the only thing I could think of when he asked if I was okay.

"Yes, we're missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints."

"Hi," the man replied. "I'm the minister at St. James Baptist church."

I wished him a nice day and walked away without checking to see if my companion followed. She did. The next house we knocked on had high concrete steps all labeled with spray paint that said, "Steep steps. Be careful." I filed that under information that would've been useful five minutes ago.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Skiing Topless

In honor of the last week of ski season, I am telling my most embarrassing ski story of the year. 

Since I teach young children to ski, I had to get a tuberculosis test. Now a TB test consists of being pricked in your arm and then having it checked 48 hours later to see if there's any reaction. The check must be done by doctor in that timeframe or you have to get pricked again.

Day 3 of my training to be a ski instructor was supposed to be an all day, indoor affair that was offsite from the resort. All that meant to me was that I wouldn't ski on opening day. However, they released us at 2:00 with the promise we'd have our arms checked by ski patrol.

Though I was desperate to ski, I had one small problem; I wasn't wearing ski clothes. I had my coat and ski pants in my car (I always do, just in case there's a skiing emergency), but I was wearing jeans and a nice blouse. No problem, I thought, I'll just strip down to my underwear and put on my outer clothing with no one being the wiser.

This plan was perfect until I went into ski patrol and they asked me to take my coat off to check my arm. It was only then that I remembered — I wasn't wearing a shirt. 

I pulled the sleeve up on my coat as far as it could go, which was a hair past the injection mark. The doctor did look at me a little oddly as I strained against the coat to get it a little farther up, but he diagnosed me as TB free anyhow.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Tips for an Author Signing

I learned a couple of important things at my first author signing.

  1. Don't hold your signing on the most beautiful spring day of the year.
  2. Be very nice to the bookstore staff. Do you think they'll recommend your book if you're a stuck-up diva?
  3. Make a game out of trying to make eye contact with someone who is avoiding making eye contact with you. (I think they're afraid if they make eye contact, they will be guilted into buying your book.)
  4. Bring extra pens that you know work.
  5. Don't hold your signing the same day as a relative's baby shower. (But in my defense I have something like six cousins who are either pregnant or just gave birth.)
  6. Smile.
  7. Show interest in the customers.
  8. And this is the most important one. Always invite your mother so you're guaranteed one person who is amazed by your talent.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Ski Song

Teaching three- and four-year-olds how to ski, requires patience, a joyful spirit, attention to safety, and above all, the ability to make up songs on the fly.

I had one three-year-old that needed a little cheering up so I started singing,

"It's snowing, it's snowing
and the wind stopped blowing,
now to ski we are going."

My little pupil quickly requested that I sing more of the ski song. So I looked around and added,

"Look at all the trees
let's take up our skis."

Then she requested to hear more of the song. I think I launched into some beautiful ballad about the chairlift and bears. Eventually she grew more excited about skiing than singing and I was relieved...until we were walking back to the lodge. "Can you sing the ski song again?" she asked.

Darn, I've really got to write that thing down.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Publishing My First Book

It arrived! My book arrived. Sisters is a guidebook for prospective sister missionaries and it is now in stores.

It's been a long process getting to this point. I started the book about a year after I returned from my mission because I noticed a lack of advice for sister missionaries. When I was trying to decide whether or not to go on a mission, the only talk I could find was from the 70s and advised among other things to sleep on a satin pillowcase to preserve your hairstyle and femininity. I figured the world could use an update.

I finished the book a few years later and sent it off to a few LDS publishers. Two immediately rejected it and a third, Covenant Books, never responded. I set it aside for a long time figuring it was dead in the water.

Last May, I attended a writers conference for LDS writers and Covenant was hosting pitch sessions. I thought, what the heck, and booked a session. The editor I spoke to didn't see much of a market for my book but said he would forward it on. I never thought I'd hear from him again. Then November, I got an e-mail saying they were publishing my book and it would be out in the spring. I was stunned. I had prepared myself for failure but never success.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Pretending to Be an Adult

Do you ever have moments when you feel like you're pretending to be a grown-up?

I have a professional sounding title at a very professional company. However, I could work in P.J.s if I wanted, and designing books feels like putting together a fun puzzle while doing digital stuff feels like solving a challenging puzzle.

Once a year we have our annual sales conference at an exclusive club downtown. I dress in the business suits I bought when I graduated college, thinking I'd need them for work (they get dusty). Walking the city street amongst all the professional folk in my pantsuit makes me feel the need to tell people, "Look at me. I am a business woman going to a business meeting. I'm not pretending in my mother's heels."

Luckily, I'm usually able to play it cool. When do you feel like you're faking it?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Worst Date Night

In honor of Valentines Day, I thought I'd blog about the most romantic thing a man ever did for me on this day, but then I got writer's block. So instead I thought I'd blog about my worst date ever.

I went through a phase where I went out any guy who asked me out as long as I felt they were decent guys. Because of that I went out with "Joe." To put it mildly, Joe was socially awkward.

He asked me how many baptisms I had on my mission and when I told him zero. He explained that with more faith and diligence, I could have had several baptisms. That's what worked for him.

While on the incredibly long ride home, he stuck his finger in my mouth when I yawned and then giggled like a 12-year-old. The second time he tried it, I nearly bit his finger. I spent the rest of the ride home staring out the window.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Finding Balance in Skiing (and in life)

I teach three-year-olds how to ski and it took about a day to discover the most important element of their being able to ski is balance. If they can balance, they can learn how to stop, to turn, and to control. I wondered how this translated into adults and after one clinic I discovered and it's the same concept: balance is the foundation to all other skills.

It turns out I've been skiing off balance for a long time, which has hindered my ability to improve. In skiing, proper balance is achieved when you are centered over your feet without leaning too much to any direction. Though there are times when your balance might shift for a short period to compensate for conditions. This observation gave me the opportunity to wonder if I'm in balance in other aspects of my life.

A perfect balance in life means the same thing as it does in skiing. I tend to live my life like I ski: in the backseat. I lean back and don't commit myself fully to the upcoming turns and ups and downs. While it feels safer, it keeps me from fully experiencing and accomplishing and I prevented from doing anything with real skill.

Other people lean too far forward and find themselves tumbling at a too fast speed or an unexpected bump. Others lean from one side to the other, letting their skis ski them instead of their being in control.

What kind of skier do you think you are?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Parable of the Helmet

A few years ago I bought a ski helmet. It came with padding that covered my ears. But by the next season, one piece of padding kept slipping out. I'd keep stuffing it back in but within an hour it would work its way back. My left ear was constantly cold and sore.

I planned all sorts of ways to fix it from superglue to just buying a new helmet but by the time I'd get home at night I would forget about it. Each time I skied on a cold day I would cuss the thing. This Monday I put new goggles on my helmet and I figured while I had a few seconds I'd take a closer look while it wasn't on my head.

Turns out the piece of padding had snaps and I just needed to snap it back in place. Two years, I've been skiing cold and it only took ten seconds of thinking hard to fix it. Makes me wonder what other stuff in my life I've been ignoring that is also an easy fix.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Learning to Ski

Have you ever wanted to learn to ski? January is the national learn to ski and snowboard month and there's never been a better time.

I am a huge proponent of skiing. It's fun, challenging, and a great workout. If you have to live some place with long winters, having an outdoor sport that utilizes the snow keeps the insanity at bay.

To make the leap from watching the Olympics on TV to bombing the slopes, there's a few things you need.

  1. Take a professional lesson. I've spoken to a lot of girls who say they hate skiing. When I ask if they've ever done it. They tell me their boyfriend took them once and ditched them. DO NOT go skiing with someone whose idea of teaching you is to take you to top of the mountain and then leave you. That's not skiing and, of course, you will hate it.
  2. Make sure you have the proper gear (not necessarily the most expensive). If you get cold and wet, you're going to be miserable and the day is done. Borrow it if you have to but you need decent snow pants, coat, hat, and gloves.
  3. Along with the clothes, you can rent the proper ski equipment at any ski store or at the resorts. Make sure they measure your feet and the skis should come to about your chin. You won't need the most expensive set up for your first day. In fact, you don't want the higher end packages because they're usually for a more advanced skier.
  4. Accept that you're going to look silly your first day. Every skier remembers what it's like to be in your shoes and we're a supportive bunch.
If cost is a consideration, there are a lot of deals (especially right now) to help you get out there. Check out for some amazing deals. You can get ski lessons, rentals, and day passes for super cheap.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Keeping Your New Year's Resolution

Procrastination, my favorite nemesis, is the reason so much of what I start is unfinished. (Distraction also takes some blame but that's another post.) To combat this last year, I set life goals, long term goals, and short term goals.

I wrote these goals in a book and then did nothing with them. After a few weeks of failed effort, I set weekly goals, written in a book that I carried with me. I could pull it out each day and check my progress. This worked for a few months but then a small book in a purse could be easily ignored.

Now each Sunday I write my goals for the week in black magic marker on a piece of paper that gets taped to my bathroom mirror. I am forced to face my successes or failures on a daily basis.

Some of my goals are part of larger goals and some are quick and easy things that I usually procrastinate (like call the dentist to make an appointment). Each week I get the joy of crossing things off my list and feeling accomplished. Some weeks the list is long, some the list is simply "Survive" (that was last's week).

Below is a list of big things I accomplished last year.

  • Have my first book be accepted for publication.
  • Compete in my first olympic triathlon without dying.
  • Become a ski instructor.
  • Ski black diamond powder.
  • Start a freelance business.
  • Slalom water ski.
What's on your list for 2012?

Sunday, January 1, 2012

I've Never Laughed so Hard at Church

We finished the Sacrament when the first speaker took to the podium. He was only a few minutes into his talk when the fire alarm jolted all of us from either our spiritual awakenings or sleeping. After a glance around to see what everyone else was doing, I filed out with the others to the parking lot.

The consensus was that some child in the other ward must have pulled it and was quite pleased with himself. After all the fire alarms say "Pull Me." We figured his parents would be in the first car out of the parking lot. Since our ward still had two and half hours to go we remained while the other ward went home.

The alarm warranted one fire truck, one ambulance, and several firefighters loaded for bear. After about fifteen minutes we were allowed back in. The bishop explained that the alarm had been triggered in the ceiling probably due to a malfunction.

The brother giving the talk before we left, took to the podium to finish. He was barely two sentences in when the alarm went off again complete with flashing lights. He stood for a moment before it was turned off.

Beginning again he said, "As I was saying..." Bam the alarm went off again. This time he sat down and we begin to wonder if this was the Lord's way of keeping him from declaring false doctrine. After a few minutes he tried again, "As I was saying..." Bam the alarm stopped him. This time a member of the bishropric stood up, handed this man his notes and scriptures, and had him sit down.

No further attempt was made. The bishop excused us to go home since the alarm refused to be silent. We will never know what that brother was to declare.